Happy After-birth day Jeremy!
Today (yesterday actually) I got the NCstar mini self-cocking crossbow. Nice little toy. Needs reinforcement for the self-cocking part, but that aside it's cool. Not a serious weapon of course, though it could hurt a bit if it hits.
Also got the cutting wheel gizmo for the Theraband.
Knives, slingshots, crossbows, blowguns.
Every room in the house is well defended